Ignorance Is Bliss

True love. How deceptive.

What is true love? Often people refer to it with old couples that are still going strong;
“My grandparents met at 15 and were each others first girlfriend and boyfriend and they’ve stayed together ever since” - That’s not true love, that’s ignorance. That’s accepting what we have as the best it’s ever going to be. Not aiming high because we’re afraid of the fall. That’s giving up before even trying. Even the crappy home brand chocolate would have the sweetest taste to one who hasn’t tried better.

Do you remember when you were young? And the first time you did anything it was exciting? Everything was always better the first time around - riding on the bus, building a sandcastle, playing in the rain. It was all so different, interesting, exciting! Imagine never getting off the bus or never building another sandcastle. That same old smelly bus is the one you’d be stuck with for the rest of your life. And your one bucket sand castle looks miniscule compared to the other structures those ‘Big kids’ have made. Now, I’m not calling your grandparents a smelly old bus or a clump of sand, I’m just exploring the point.

And the point is that they don’t know any better. They can’t possibly say that their ‘lover’ is better than any one of the other billion potential candidates out there. That their love for one another is stronger then other peoples, just because they have been together for longer. In fact, those couples who have been ‘perfect’ for each other right from the start are probably as far away from true love as it gets. They are in love with love. They are the aged and not as tragic Romeo and Juliet, although in a way their tragedy is far worse.

They like the affection, the attention, the security. As do we all. But often we need to take a few times to get it right. We need to find the healthy balance between those ‘positive’ things that humans need and the ‘not-so-positive’ things that are also necessary. Curiosity, excitement, impulse, recklessness, disregard - there’s no such thing as a utopian society. None of us are perfect. We have cravings, wants, needs. Sometimes people want to fight. Sometimes people want to be alone; to take some time off and relax, to free up their mind, to wallow in self-pity. Sometimes people want to get angry, or cry, or flee. Sometimes it’s just for the hell of it. Life is too short and boring to live it the same way everyday for 60 years. It’s true that sometimes people are lucky and they find that special person which offers the perfect balance between affection and excitement, but more often then not it’s a load of tripe. An idealistic future with the ignorance stuck on repeat.

So what is true love then? Does it exist? I believe it does. It’s all subjective though. There you are probably sitting on your chair thinking “What a load of crap. My grandparents really are in love!” - and I never said they weren’t. But remember that men were in love with swords before guns came along. But who knows? Maybe two oldies sitting on a couch eating scones and drinking tea really is what true love is all about, but maybe it isn’t.

I think true love is something which withstands more than just time. One that has had almost as many lows as they have had highs. Everytime they climb up they get pushed right back down. It doesn’t sound very appealing. But if you are constantly wading through problems and having to fight for the person you’re with then it makes the good times that much sweeter. You manage to forget about all the hassle and pain and for a moment (however short) you’re in total bliss. The end justifies the means. And you won’t make it to the peak straight away, you’ll need to fight for that. Bit by bit you climb, bit by bit you fall. Trial and error. That’s all it is. There’s no such thing as a ‘perfect relationship’, if you think you’re in one - you’re doing something wrong.

In the end it’s just that healthy balance between self and partner, comfort and excitement, security and impulse. Your grandparents might have this healthy balance, they might not. Either way if they’ve been together for as long as you say they have then they are obviously happy right? I guess it’s true what they say, ignorance really is bliss.